All LBC members are, of course, avid readers of the monthly article on healthy nutrition published monthly in the British Rowing magazine.  A quick glance through the last two issues will reveal dishes which are ideal for building strength, fitness, and muscle.  For example, Strawberry and rhubarb smoothie, Poached salmon Caesar salad, and Seabass with asparagus and beetroot salsa, which no doubt all feature regularly on our pre-race dietary plans.

There is, however, one dish that has not yet appeared in the magazine, namely the ‘Pizza ala Nutella’ served at La Corallina Italian Restaurant, Shrewsbury, which does exactly what it says on the jar!

Nutella pizza

Now one might think that a large lump of dough smothered with chocolate and cream would not necessarily be the best preparation for a race, especially for a cox; but, flushed with the heady success of a win in the ladies Masters B Eight (and several glasses of prosecco), Jen clearly had other ideas on the subject.  Her crewmates watched in horror as she not only devoured the entire serving, but also risked serious injury by licking the pizza cutter blade until it sparkled as clean as new.

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Fortunately, Jen did not sever her tongue so was still able to shout loudly at the Mixed Masters Four the next day, and also row successfully with Mike in a double, this time without shouting loudly! (Watch out, Scott, your seat is in jeopardy). But Jen still could not replicate the success of Ian as cox of the Ladies Eight: his frenzy of obscene verbage had whipped the youthful Masters B crew into a fantastic recovery from behind, eventually crossing the line just two feet ahead of their initial opponents and subsequently on to a comprehensive win in the final.  Congratulations to younger Jen, the ‘Jenerator’, who earned her first ever Pot in the most dramatic of fashions.  Which reminds me, did we ever complete the traditional celebration of throwing her into the river?  (It’s never too late…).

Sunday saw several further wins for LBC crews, with Hannah appearing twice on the victory rostrum, While Linda, in her first ever single scull regatta race as WMasB, seemingly scared off her original opposition (both of whom scratched) and was left faced with a complete redraw in women’s novice singles, where, after valiant effort finished only 1 and a half lengths behind the winner.  Nick and Walrus won their heat in style, and were later seen walking off into the sunset hand in hand (allegedly), whilst Jerry and Emma won their semi-final after a close race in their pair (definitely no hand holding in that crew…).  With some aggressive steering, Jerry had sealed this race in front of the grandstand by arranging for Emma’s blade to acquire extra leverage off the bow of the opponent’s boat which not only propelled ‘2 me 2 you’  forwards, but simultaneously applied an opposite direction force to the Guildford boat, which was left trailing. 

With Keith and Charlie now quite clearly rattled to see the calibre of their unexpected opponents in the MD2- final, Charlie turned a strange colour and was observed to be throwing up in the portaloos due to anxiety, and Keith was forced to approach Emma to request that she took it easy on them in the final. (Editor’s note: the eventual result of that LBC vs LBC race seems to have somehow got lost).

Meanwhile, Zoe, Erica, Cathy and Annie had decided that a glamorous crew is far more important than a winning one, and that no LBC male is good-looking enough to grace their boat as a cox, so they hired themselves a young Adonis from Shrewsbury, with the assurance that he was above the legal age.  Those members of our Masters’ squad who remember watching Christians being thrown to the lions will have recognised the look of terror on the young man’s face as he was introduced to the ladies, once he realised what he had let himself in for.  But I believe they treated him gently, although at the end of a hot weekend they were clearly somewhat lacking in energy for their race – in which they finished second.  (Our advice is to try an older man next time, girls).

Next stop: Peterborough.  Here we come!

Words by Jerry Heygate