As part of the celebrations for Mike’s Stag Weekend, two rubber rafts full of Loughborough rowers (male and female) discovered that one can actually have great fun at Holme Pierrepoint, even when the weather is horribly wet and windy!
Steered and directed by two very experienced and slightly manically crazed Water Sports Centre staff, the club rowers faced extreme danger on the apparently piranha-infested swirling white water rapids (AKA the River Trent) as their guides pumped up the difficulty level on each successive descent and, as seen in the above photo, beat any hesitant customers over the head with a paddle. With Ex-Captain Keith demonstrating on the very first run that he is a slippery customer, plenty of practice was obtained at man-handling him back into the raft on several occasions. Meanwhile, the Stag was given the Titanic treatment at the front of the raft, swallowing large quantities of Trent water which he subsequently blamed for the next day’s spinning head and queasy stomach, in spite of trying to preempt this affliction with twelve pints of Salvation, an extra hot Jee Ja Jee’s Vindaloo, and a whisky chaser.
Back in the raft, Keith was moved to a more stable part of the boat where he showed that he could still fall out, whilst Charlie put his public-school education to good use by rediscovering a sadistic streak and picking on Adam as his victim. Those who have ever seen two ducks on the river when one is holding the other by the back of the neck and pushing it under the water will get the analogy.
But Adam did not suffer in vain, as Charlie’s belly laugh became infectious even to those without a belly, and Adam later had his reward by being the sole remaining person in the raft and watching Charlie make the ‘walk of shame’ back to the boat from the far bank where he had beached.
Those in Raft 2 were obviously more sensible (well, Vicky and Tom were aboard) and they apparently fell out a bit less, concentrating instead on submerging Jen – with Walrus looking like he had returned to his natural environment and there were even some reports of flipper footprints in the shower room.
The day ended with Laurence deciding that it had been far more dangerous than his last rafting experience, which was alongside hippos and crocodiles on the Zambese, and the high level of risk was confirmed by the cruel injury that Jerry had suffered to his face, although the huge scar will serve as a reminder of another thoroughly enjoyable club weekend.